Leaving Home Behind
by BattiestMiist
Summary: Set in the middle of the third film. Right after the Berkians decide to leave their home, Astrid and Hiccup discuss doubts about what the future holds in the Cove where everything began - and Hiccup tells her of his plan to protect his own, no matter what pain comes with it.


_This is a super short story covering the time in the third film when the Berkians are leaving their home. Hiccup and Astrid go to the Cove for a heart-to-heart about what comes next and what it feels like leaving their island. I tried to capture Hiccup's growing anxiety that eventually leads him to his choice at the end of the film._

It felt weird to even consider leaving Berk. The notion itself went against everything the tribe had ever known – if there was one thing Stoick always insisted, it was that they would defend their home no matter the cost.

Hiccup had always found a sort of nobility in that. There was something fulfilling, something motivating about believing that no threat could break them.

But that was before dragons and long before the enemies of Berk became more than merely the denizens of a nearby nest. There were foes out there – cold and calculating – and they would never stop. Hiccup knew, he had always known. But perhaps there was a difference between merely knowing there were threats and seeing them march onto your island and destroy your home.

And so, that night, Hiccup had made the hardest decision he had ever made: the choice to leave Berk behind for the safety of all. He had tried to seem sure in the meeting, he wasn't so sure now. And so he went to one of his special places where he could think things over – they were quiet bits of the island that could grant him the peace to think without distraction. Sometimes, Toothless would come with him for company.

Not tonight.

"How'd I know you would be here?" Hiccup looked up from his stick drawing in the dirt.

"You know me. That's probably it."

"Yeah. And if I know you that well," Astrid added, "then I know you could probably use a pep talk right now." Hiccup looked back down at his scribbles on the ground, sighed, and then decided it was best to tell her the truth.

"This is it, Astrid. I- I mean, all these years and now… we just, leave? My dad would lose his mind if he saw this. I just- what if we can't find the Hidden World? What if it isn't even-"

"I wouldn't have stuck up for you in there if I didn't believe you. You know that, right?" Hiccup nodded, and Astrid took the chance to sit down beside him close enough to see his expressions even in the darkness of the night. There was the tiniest bit of light from the stars; it was a new moon, and so the tiny dots across the sky were all that was there to help both of them see.

"That… that doesn't really help, Astrid. I mean- I didn't mean it like that. Sorry. I just- I'm not sure that anything can. Does that make sense?"

"Nope, not at all." Hiccup rolled his eyes a bit at her honesty.

"But I think I know what you are trying to say." She took a few strands of his hair and started to braid it, as she often did. "You're scared, right? Scared it won't work out?" Hiccup shrugged in admittance.

Astrid leaned in close to his ear then. "Hiccup, we're all just as scared as you are. I know… I know that I am, at least. But I trust you. We all do. Maybe even a little more than you trust yourself."

"Astrid… I don't wanna leave. I just- if something happened to you, or my mom, or Toothless-"

"I know, Hiccup." She had given up on braiding now and opted to simply place her arm around his shoulders.

"Astrid?" Hiccup asked into the night.

"Yeah?"

"What if… what if it doesn't work out? What if we can't live in the Hidden World – if it even exists? What do we do then?" There was remarkable vulnerability in his voice; the kind of self-doubt that Hiccup fought to keep hidden in front of anyone except those closest to him.

"Then we'll do what we have to, I guess. That's what we've always done, isn't it?"

"That's the thing Astrid. That's what scares me is what we might have to-" A rustling in the trees above caught Hiccup's attention. He was up in an instant, Inferno drawn and lit ablaze. Astrid was equally quick, and both of them stood ready for combat.

The rustling proved to be nothing more than wind, so it seemed. After a few tense minutes, both of them relaxed a sliver, falling back into their seated positions on the ground. Astrid spoke first.

"What were you saying, Hiccup?" He bit his lip and looked down, not sure if he truly wanted to finish his earlier statement.

"I- I'd rather not talk about it. I just- I'm not sure yet. Let me think about it."

"Ok," Astrid responded, "how long are we talking? A few minutes or a few days?"

"Eh, probably more in the _days_ range." Astrid moved to punch him lightly in the shoulder, but missed a bit from the dark and struck his lower arm instead.

"What idea could you possibly have that is crazier than anything you've come up with before?" Astrid was sarcastic in her tone, but there was truth to that – what could Hiccup be considering that he thought was too much for her to handle?

"You… you don't want to know. Not yet, anyway."

"Oh, come on, Hiccup. Just tell-"

"No, no I mean it. I just-" Hiccup's frustration with himself reached a boiling point and he tapped the ground with his fist. He hated not having the answers. Astrid could sense the change in his demeanor, and she started rubbing gentle circles on his back in an effort to relax him. It was for his good – but she couldn't deny that she felt the need to know what he was thinking. If Hiccup Haddock wouldn't share an idea, it must have been something beyond crazy.

"You sure you don't want to tell me?" Astrid coaxed, leaning in close to him once again. Hiccup sat silent for a moment, pondering, and then caved.

"Don't tell anyone I said this, Astrid. I mean anyone. Ok?"

"Deal."

"It's- it's good for you to know anyway in case something happens to me soon-" Astrid lightly punched him again, this time hitting her mark. She hated when he said things like that. Hiccup turned to her with a stone-cold expression, telling her in an instant how serious he was. "If we can't make it to the Hidden World… maybe Toothless can. And, the other dragons too. I- I know it's a long shot, but if we need to, we can." Astrid shook her head, confused.

"What are you getting at, Hiccup?" Hiccup looked down and then back up at her again.

"Maybe it's time to… to let them be safe – without us." Astrid took a second to realize what he was saying. When it hit her, however, her eyes went wide in amazement.

"Hiccup, that's crazy. Like, even for you. All this time and you want to just _give up_?" Hiccup raised his hands, trying to defend himself.

"No, no. I just- I can't lose him, Astrid. If Grimmel kills Toothless… I don't even know what I would do. I can't – I won't risk his life if I don't have to. I- if I'm not there to do it, and if we find the Hidden World, and if- if there are still people out there trying to hurt them, then I want you to tell him to go. Take the dragons and- and be safe. Will you do that, Astrid?"

She didn't have a response. How could she respond to something like that? A long silence told Hiccup his answer, and he stood up to leave.

"I- I told you that you didn't wanna know. I- nevermind." Astrid grabbed Hiccup's hand suddenly, causing him to jump from the surprise.

"I… I promise I'll do it, Hiccup. But promise me that I won't have to. You aren't dying anytime soon, you hear me?" Hiccup smiled a bit, and even though Astrid could not see it clearly through the darkness, she could just tell by his demeanor that he was glad she said something.

"Hiccup," she started, still holding his hand tightly, "I don't want to send Stormfly away. I don't-"

"Astrid, I want you to think for second what it would feel like to really… lose her. To lose me, or anyone else. I- I can live with knowing that they're safe and… happy. Happy in their own world." She understood, then.

Hiccup had lost so much – his leg, his father…

He couldn't lose anything more. She would stand by him, she decided, in whatever he chose to do. He was right, she decided, about loss. He knew it better than most.

She loosened her grip on his hand, and Hiccup scampered off into the darkness. Whatever happened in the upcoming days, the chief would do what he had always vowed to do:

Protect his own, no matter what that meant giving up.

_Thanks for reading! Please review, even if it's just a few words. I appreciate each and every one of them, I promise. _

_Thanks again for reading, hope you enjoyed._


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